How to fight Dead Beat Dad's that gets away with our flawed system in California?
I have been the primary caretaker of my daughter, she is now 16, and I just wish this to go away soon. I have not received any type of support from my daughter's father, even though I have a court ordered support filed in my county, but still he does not pay me a single cent, because to him he does not have to. The last time we received anything from him was in 2003, and that in itself was not paid because he wanted to but because he had to. He sold a property, and I guess he had to pay his back child support first before getting any proceeds from the sale of the property. And even then he approached me trying to get that money back, citing that "I didn't mean for you to get all of that money, I was going to pay you some and pay installments in the future" what a BULL CRAP. So now I just found out that he has been denied renewal or his driver's license has been suspended. So now, he finds it necessary to battle with me in court again, to either lower the child support order or remove it at all, as he stated that he is self employed and has not made any income.
He has tried this in the past dragging on the case for so long and so much money wasted on court and lawyer fees, requesting for more visitation right and lower his child support obligation, not that he really wants to see or spend any time with my daughter, which is really unfortunate for her, he is just basically doing it so he can show the court that he is spending some time with her and that he should not pay as much support. I have agreed to joint custody and have worked out a visitation schedule until she turns 18. We live about 6 hrs away from each other, and you would think he would spend every minute of that visitation schedule with her, UNFORTUNATELY NO! He would be in town and not even see her, but he would call her and let her know that he was in town for business and that he did not have enought time to swing by and see her, and this has gone on her entire life. Sometimes I would always think that it's my fault for not choosing a better father for her and for letting him do this to her, but I don't want to focus on that. What I do focus on is to fill in that void that she may be feeling for not being able to spend that time with her father, and keeping her busy and motivated in life so that she does not have to think about him. I have always told her, not to expect too much from him so that if and when she gets disappointed by him, it would not hurt as much. I learned the hard way, and I do believe he is not capable of changing.
What I find really ridiculous with the system, is that he can get a way with not paying any support, and still parade around with expensive vehicles, designer clothing and able to go to professional sports games like NBA and NFL, with really GOOD, up in the front seats, and yet the system cannot collect from what he owes us. Then when he takes me to court for the same issues to get his support order lowered. The system allows him to get extensions after extensions from the court, dragging this matter so long that often, I just give in rather than fight him, as I do not have the money, time and energy to further waste in this non sense system and sorry a** of a man. The system has even allowed him to appear via phone, just to later find out that he's requested another extension and have actually been granted one too for some bull crap reason that he comes up. The most famous one is "someone died in my family." It's like everytime we have a court date, a family member drops dead. I have pointed this out with the court, but he's able to get away with it anyway. I just really have had enough of this sorry a** of a man. I could be directing this energy and money to my daughter's well being, but instead I have to join this bandwagon of bull crap from this man and from our system. I have been laid off from work and have been out of work for the past 9 months, unfortunately I have not been able to find any stable employment, this has been the longest I have been unemployed in my entire life. I have been laid off before, but I would always find another job within that same month. I am about to lose my home, and this could not have come on a better time. I just wanted to know if there are any lawyers out there willing to take this case either pro-bono or IOU in the future of course, that would really represent and fight this sorry a** of a man. Even if there isn't one out there willing to take the case, maybe just some assistance/advise on what to do to fight this and finally put an end to this charade. Thank you for reading and commenting :)
